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Our greatest fears, manifest:
We've all been there - you take a wonderfully composed photo with perfect exposure and split-second timing - a scything juxtaposition of opposing societal values. Rich vs poor. Big vs small. Cat vs dog. You excitedly show it off online, waiting for the likes to roll in! This will be a Pulitzer! You'll be famous! You'll have everything you dreamed of... whatever you want: money, women...men? But... no-one gets it. A handful of likes and perhaps a bot comment ("Love the tones!"). They just don't understand your humble brilliance.
Salvation:
Well, we've come up with the perfect solution - a brand new 1600 ISO Black and White film with hand-picked, pre-printed quotes from world renowned photographers, to convey how serious you are about your photography, and to tell the viewers how to feel about what you've painstakingly captured: FilmSpiration 1600.
Let's run through some key details:
- FilmSpiration 1600 is black and white. Some of the most recognisable and important photographs in history were taken in black and white, so this medium is inherently better.
- FilmSpiration is rated at 1600 ISO. Your photos will feel more authentic with some obvious grain and dust. It will be as if you are a master painter, stippling the canvas with light. The Monet of monochrome, the Van Gogh of gelatin. The audience will see and understand your expression of the gritty, harsh world we live in. You're anti-society. You're anti-establishment. You're unrestrained and unconventional. It's not just a lawn chair in moody black and white - it's ART.
- Inspirational quotes are overlaid directly onto the film using a special, top secret process at our warehouse of willingly drafted workers, each working 16 hour non-stop shifts, 7 days a week just to improve your photography.
Photography, made easy!
In our first batch of FilmSpiration 1600, we have quoted many famous photographers in beautiful Helvetica font, including but not limited to: Ansel Adams, Tim Walker, Diane Arbus, Robert Capa, Eliott Erwitt, and the patron saint of street; Henri-Cartier Bresson. Spelling mistakes are not tolerated on our production line, so if you see one - let us know and we can find those responsible!
We'll let the example images speak for themselves. Over the course of the development period, we shot over 9000 rolls of FilmSpiration 1600, and these were our favourite images, all subtly enhanced with a randomly overlaid quote from a photographer:
One born every minute:
Statistics show that on average, a good photograph is taken every sixty seconds. Be part of the crowd. FilmSpiration 1600 is available on April 1st and will be priced at £21 per roll.